Labor Day is over, and we've put our white back into the closet. Time to go to the dark side? No, according to Castro Theatre impresario Marc Huestis, it's time to "go into the light!" He's conjuring the Polter-gayest Poltergeist celebration ever, a screening of the classic 1982 horror film with a gala tribute to its star, JoBeth Williams. Williams will be in on the good gay fun, including a sit-down (or maybe a stand-up) interview with Hostess Huestis; a clip reel celebrating Williams' work in such classics as The Big Chill, Kramer vs. Kramer and Dexter; a Carol Ann Look-Alike Contest femceed by Connie Champagne; and a spook-alicious Fashion Show put on by the Sick & Twisted Players, celebrating their 20th Anniversary on SF stages.

Huestis claims there are spectral forces guiding this show. "I'm friends with JoBeth, and a few years back we had lunch at a local eatery to discuss this gig. When I mentioned her co-star Zelda Rubinstein, all of a sudden the ceiling fell and water came gushing down on the folks at the table next to us, forcing them to flee. It was a scene straight out of Poltergeist! We both cracked up laughing, just kept eating our meat loaf and chicken pot-pie, and that's when I knew this show must go on!"

The show will go on the night before Halloween, Sat., Oct. 30, at ye olde Castro Theatre. Sounds like a ghoulish night out. OT thinks it's about time to take back the Castro for our favorite gay hell-aday, and it's for a good cause, as partial proceeds benefit AIDS Housing Alliance/SF. Call (415) 863-0611, ask for Carol Ann, and get a $5 discount.

Hearting Healdsburg

Out There jumped for joy at the opportunity to visit the chic new h2hotel in Healdsburg last weekend, staying overnight in a sumptuous, bamboo-floored suite and supping on a sultry evening at the inn's signature restaurant Spoonbar.

In the airy and spacious-feeling lobby, bar manager Scott Beattie prepared rounds from his book happily displayed on the plank, Artisanal Cocktails: Drinks Inspired b

Spoonbar at the h2hotel in Healdsburg. Photo: Zubin Schroff

y the Seasons from the Bar at Cyrus. We gratefully sipped Blade gin, boutique-distilled in Belmont of all places, while Beattie extolled the virtues of his Kold-Draft ice machine, which produces dense, gem-like cubes with no air pockets. Beattie's creation the John Chapman combines St. George Whiskey, pear eau-de-vie, fruit, ginger and apple foam, garnished with dehydrated apple. Fun fact: Chapman was Johnny Appleseed's legal name. Spoonbar chef Rudy Mihal's delectable victuals evinced Mediterranean and Moroccan influences. We were in flavor heaven enjoying creative presentations of risotto and fried smelt, washed down with Russian River Valley wines.

In the h2h, SF-based architect David Baker has created an energy-efficient, environmentally sustainable, eco-conscious hotel, capped with an undulating living roof planted with waves of native succulents, echoing the Sonoma hills. Our traveling buddy Pepi, who himself lives in a David Baker-designed building in SF, the architecturally acclaimed SoMa Studios complex on Howard, could only give an insider's nod.

Our visit came the same day that the NY Times Travel section featured the h2hotel along with other Sonoma County sights in its "36 Hours" column. As an adorable young hotel staffer brought us our in-suite breakfast with piping hot French-press coffee bright and early that morning, we reflected on our good fortune, living so close to paradise.

Glamour regimens

Just in time for this week's review of Inside the Hollywood Fan Mag by author Anthony Slide, we present this hilarious quotation from Miss Joan Crawford in 1963, which we think worthy of Out There – and Charles Busch.

In the fan-mag article "Hollywood Girls Are Killing Their Own Glamour," Miss Crawford warned, "I think that any actress who makes an appearance in public without being beautifully groomed is digging her own grave. If only one fan sees you less than perfect, it can be the beginning of the end." She then praised Elizabeth Taylor, then just recovering from illness and hospitalization. "She would not permit herself to be wheeled out until her hairdresser had been summoned and done her hair, her makeup woman fixed her face, and a French designer had sent over a beautiful new outfit to wear." Stars be like that.

Our non-U nose has been deeply immersed in True Prep – It's a Whole New Old World (Knopf) by Lisa Birnbach (her follow-up to the 1980 classic The Official Preppy Handbook) with Chip Kidd. It's where we found this definition of sexual addiction, "a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.

"Central Command wonders at the sudden spread of this malady. One day it's just Michael Douglas (Allen Stevenson School, Choate, UCSB), and then a decade later, the clinics are flooded. It's like an X-rated peanut allergy."

End notes

An open house to mark on your calendars: Cal Performances will present the first Fall Free for All, a day of free performances, on Sun., Sept. 26, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. on the UC Berkeley campus. Four stages will come alive with music, dance and theater events, a preview of the artistic residencies and collaborations coming this season. Attractions include the Kronos Quartet, SF Opera Adler Fellows, Word for Word Theater, Mark Morris Dance Group, Linda Tillery and the Cultural Heritage Choir, and many more. Info at www.calperfs.berkeley.edu.

The current issue of Architectural Digest announces that the erstwhile Dr. Kildare, estimable gay actor Richard Chamberlain, has put a house up for sale in Maui and is asking $19 million. We wonder if he will toss in a free medical exam.

Late-night host Craig Ferguson came clean on TV: "To be honest, I didn't understand the hurricane report. I was lost in the eyes of Anderson Cooper. I'm not really gay. I just pretend I am to be funny. Or that's what I tell the male prostitutes."